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26 September 2016

Dating Horror...

Hey girl... so a few years back I was on Facebook and this guy inboxes me. I take a peek at his profile and realized that we were ALREADY friends (from those days where I was accepting EVERYONE's request). He's in my inbox like "Hey. How are you?" and then we just started conversing. He seemed very cool. He complimented me, was a spiritual/praying man, and he has a gorgeous little girl. We talked about they normal things when you are getting to know someone new: "What's your interest?", "What is your favorite color?", and so on. Girl, when I tell you this man was something nice.... and he had me like....

MOVING ON.... We continued to chat on Facebook for about 3 weeks and then we graduated to the phone, hehe. When I talk to people, I dissect everything. Maybe that's a bad thing or not....But anyway, if you know me, you know I pick up VIBES from every direction and I started feeling one from him. It was so strong and it was bugging the hell out of me girl, so I had to discover the root of this vibe. So, I decided to inbox a girl I know on Facebook (seeing that we were all mutual friends) and I asked her about this guy. She stated that he was cool and that he dated her older sister, but he was very clingy.

Like a crazy woman, I continued to talk to him. We continued to talk on the phone. In our earlier conversations, I told him that I lived in North Little Rock and he stated that his second job was also in NLR. Since his night job at the local recreation center was only 5 minutes from my house, I would visit him there and chat for a little while. One particular time, he tried to plant a wet one on me and I was like "Whoa...I'm not ready for a kiss." and he was looking like I just told him he looked like shit girl. And then there was the time when he would ask me if he could come see me (at my house) when he gets off, which was 10 PM!!! Uh no ma'am.... I know what 10 PM is... I politely declined, and then he said he could come over my house early in the morning and cook me breakfast. First of all, I had a son and I wake up at 5:30 AM and that would NOT be a good look. And then I told him that I could visit him. And then he proceeded to tell me that his aunt lived with him in Little Rock and he doesn't like to have company when she was there. He proclaimed that she was a rather older woman and that she was retired. Now, I know what you re thinking, but...this wasn't a guy that screamed "PLAYER" or "GIRLFRIEND/WIFE AT HOME" situation, but it was odd nonetheless...

Girl! When I tell you shit started getting kooky... He would ask me if he could come over and we could have a bond session....?? I asked him what that was and he said, "You know... We would sit in the dark, have candles lit, hold hands and just meditate. It will bring us closer." Yeah... closer to that damn bed!!! I’m all for spiritually connecting to your lover, but ahem… I need to be deeply attracted to you in order to allow myself to potentially get turned on, honey. So once again, I politely declined, although he has asked me several times after that. I told some folks about it, men and women, and they were like, "Something's odd about him. Be careful." 
He took me out to dinner one night. He QUICKLY asked for my address and I quickly said that I will be at my parent's house and to pick me up from there. I told my mom that I was going out and that I was going to spend the night at her house. We went out. Had a good time. Sweet night at Bonefish Grill. After that, it was like high school. We were sitting in his car in front of my parent's house and just chatting. Even though we had a good time, that uneasiness kept creeping up on me and THEN, he grabbed my hand LICKED my hand like it was a damn lollipop... I even felt his saliva under my damn nails, hunnie!!!!!! When I tell you that my ass was SPOOKED baaaby....

So, I slowly stopped talking to him. Here's the kicker girl.... I found out that it was HE that was staying with his aunt, NOT the other way around. I don't knock people for having to fall before they can come up, but COME ON.... And girl...... I'm GLAD I didn't give him that ME-OW, cuz hunty..... This ain't no Missy Elliott song.... "IT" don't fail me NOW.... LOLOL. I'm dating a new guy now and every now and then, he'll text me just to ask if I still have a boyfriend and to let him know when/if we break up...spooky, I know. What do you guys think?



  1. Girl the bonding session woulda had me out the door!!! LMAO!!!

    1. LOLOLOLOL.... Who are YOU telling cuz?!?! My butt was freaked out!


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